An Older Poem, Written By: Me

Freedom


She enters the room slowly
Her eyes adjusting to the dim light
She knows this room well
This is the place of punishment
The hardwood floor is cold beneath her feet
Slowly she looks around the room
Her brow creases slightly, in question, as she sees her sisters
They are kneeling quietly, on cushions at the back of the room
Her eyes come to rest on the high-backed chair, that is the sole piece of furniture present
That is His seat
The seat of judgment
Slowly, gracefully she kneels on the cushion in the center of the room
Her head bowed in shame and submission
Silently she awaits His arrival
This is not a new experience for her
She has been here many times
This is just another in a long line of punishments for her
Only the presence of her sisters is unusual
As she waits, her mind drifts back over the punishments of the past
The times he scolded and lectured her
The lengthy written assignments
The additional chores
Being excluded from family activities
Being made to kneel in the corner of the large living room during a formal dinner party
So many punishments
So many times she has disappointed her Master
So many times she has disobeyed Him
But He is a very patient and gentle Master
Always, He has forgiven her
Even after her last visit to this place
A visit that resulted in a brutal encounter with Masters cane
The scars from that night are still bright pink on her bottom and thighs
But, even then He had forgiven her
The sound of His footsteps brings her thoughts back to the present
Silence falls again
Still her eyes remain on the floor in front of her
Long moments pass
Something is very different
Tension charges the air around her
The skin at the back of her neck prickles
Uneasiness sets butterflies to fluttering in her tummy
She feels the heat of His stare
His voice is strong and deep, when he speaks
“Stand”
That one word jolts her like a lightning bolt
Slowly she rises to her feet
Her head still bowed
The tension and anxiety growing within her
Again His voice rocks her like a physical blow
“Look at me”
Hesitantly her head comes up
Her eyes traveling up his body
Every detail of His appearance burning itself into her mind
Their eyes meet
His dark eyes search hers
No longer is she nervous
Anxiety has given way to fear
For long moments their eyes remain locked
His gaze bores into her pale green eyes
He looks deep into her very soul
Without thinking, she clasps her hands in front of her
She knows that He sees her shaking
With a deep sigh, He tears His eyes from hers
His voice is soft and steady
“ Turn “.
Without hesitation she turns from Him
Her body trembles as she feels Him approach
His hands rest lightly on her shoulders
Her body tenses
She braces herself for her punishment
The sound of her own heartbeat pounds in her ears
She looks to the back of the room
Her sisters still kneel there
With an effort of will she forces a small smile
No smiles answer hers
One by one their heads bow
They will not look at her
Why will they not look at her?
Confusion and hurt momentarily replace the fear she feels
He speaks
“ Who are you”?
Her voice is shaky and small, as she replies
“I am yours, Master”.
“I am whoever and whatever you wish me to be”.
She has answered this question a thousand times
But this time is different
This time she answers from her heart
She hears the soft sound of His breathing behind her
“Why did you come to me”?
This question is also familiar to her
Again, for the first time, she answers sincerely
“ To serve you”
“To learn from you”
“ To bring you pleasure, happiness and honor”
“To be guided and molded by you”
His grip on her shoulders tightens slightly
“What did you offer in return for these things”?
Her mouth moves
The beginning of an answer forms on her lips, but dies before it is spoken
She takes a deep shuddering breath and speaks
“I offered all that I am, Master”.
“I offered my loyalty, my trust, my obedience, my complete submission “
“I offered my mind, body and soul”
Again His grip tightens a bit
His voice is not as steady, when he speaks
“I took you into my home”
“Made you a part of my family and my life”
“I have tried to help you on your journey
Tried to help you become strong and proud in your submission
I gave you sisters to love you and help you learn
I protected you
Loved you
Held your hand when you were afraid
I opened up a whole world to you
His voice begins to waver
The strength of His emotion washes over and through her
He is silent for a while
His ragged breath is warm on her skin
His words are calm and control as He again begins to speak
Time and again you have disobeyed me
Time and again you have been punished
And still you misbehave
Slowly His hands move
Gathering her long black hair into His grip
Gently he moves the hair from the back of her neck
I have tried so very hard to teach you
I have given you countless chances to be a good girl
His fingers tremble as they move to the steel buckle of her collar
She feels the touch and her knees threaten to give way
He continues
Perhaps I am not the one to teach you
Perhaps you aren’t ready to learn
These words tear through her heart
She knows what is coming
She knows
Slowly His fingers work on the buckle
Her heart shatters as the thin strip of leather is removed from her neck
You are free
Her knees give way
She falls to the floor
Sobs wrack her body and tears burn her eyes
Gentle hands lift her
The soft sobs of those who were her sisters join with hers
Slowly she is lead from the room
She will never see this place again
As she is lead away, He settles into the lone chair
His head resting in His hands
Silently He weeps
He weeps for her
He weeps for those who remain
His heart breaks
It is not always easy to be the Master…


Copyright JD "Wolf" Sims 1999